There is a misperception that teenagers lack focus and work ethic, but they are capable of both. Nick Andopolis focuses on playing the drums, Greta Thunberg devotes her life to fight climate change, and when I was a teenager, I diligently dedicated all my energy towards O-Town. I learned valuable lessons from my commitment that have positively informed my adult life.
Wait, O-Town?!!! Why not BSB or NSYNC?
Love often arrives when you are not looking. In 2000, I was happily preoccupied with Ricky Martin. Who could predict my teenage attention would be diverted by boys meticulously selected by a professional boy band generator, with a splash of diversity, and beautifully packaged within a reality TV show competition? I understood the appeal of NSYNC and BSB, but how much did their fans really know about them without watching hours of footage of their lives? I knew Erik-Michael Estrada in a way BSB fans could never know Kevin Richardson. Furthermore, I prayed and effectively willed Trevor Penick into O-Town. His success– O-Town’s success– was my success. Can NYSNC fans say the same?
Once I received their first album, the corny lines about loving music from Almost Famous were still corny, but I now had a frame from which to understand. Like Lester Bangs said, “music, you know, true music- not just rock and roll- it chooses you.” I was grateful to be chosen because I chose to watch TGIF, and was hopelessly devoted to ensuring O-Town thrived.
Lesson 1: Healthy, loving relationships require extensive emotional labor.
Loving O-Town was a full-time job with sleepless nights. I was constantly concerned about their health and safety, which only subsided when I was in their presence, or they were on live TV. I was always on call, at any moment they could make an appearance and I had to be ready with a blank VHS tape. I was informed of TV appearances by TV Guide, commercials, or calls from friends screaming “they are on Montel right now!” It took a village. I sacrificed many evenings– and much of my freedom– to guarantee the Nielsen ratings counted my view. I spent my (parents’) hard-earned money on merchandise and tickets so O-Town would have room, board, and a little extra spending money because they worked so hard and were nice boys. As a fan, I was receptive to their needs, even if they were unable to be verbally communicated. Fans can sense when something is wrong, and when we cannot directly help, we always offer comfort via fun posters at concerts.[1]
My life was no longer my own, but it was okay because watching them grow– and sharing in their success– was one of my life’s greatest joys.
Lesson 2: Healthy relationships require expressing love in the method it can be received.
As an O-Town fan, I demonstrated affection through the love languages that would not result in a restraining order: acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts.
Acts of service: To purchase tickets to my first concert, I queued outside the Virginia Beach Amphitheater for hours. The earlier I arrived, the more likely I was to receive seats within spitting distance. This, of course, did not occur because Ticketmaster is a chaotic mess. Although I was eleventh in line, I had terrible seats. The important thing; however, was that O-Town had fans fill the stadium. I would stand for hours longer to ensure they knew they were supported and loved.
Words of affirmation & gifts: Before a different show– where I had excellent seats– I worked very hard to draw a picture of Trevor and wrote a nice, non-creepy note. I have always been very, very cool. No, seriously. So, I have no doubt that whatever slobbery, gushy note I wrote was also very, very coooool. I found a medium-sized teddy bear full of beans (good weight) in my room with a heart on its chest (not a Beanie Baby, I would never part with them). I tied the note around the bear to hurl at Trevor when he danced by. I succeeded! Trevor caught my bear! If he read the sappy note, he was hopefully temporarily relieved of whatever turmoil Lou Pearlman inflicted. If not, at least he knew some remarkably cool girl in the greater DMV wished him well, which I am sure is what my very cool note said. I omitted that I named our future horses[2] and rehearsed dialogue for our Cribs episode because that would not. be. cool… I received many gifts as part of the O-Town fandom, but it was also important the boys felt loved in return.
BS Conclusion
I am burned out in my thirties largely because I spent my teenage years working so hard. During that time, I learned a lot about relationships, which is why I am single and childless. I do not have the energy to go through all that again.
BS
[1] I never actually made a poster for a concert. I have dignity.
[2] As an adult, I learned 2 things: (1) horses are TOO tall and I will NOT get on one; (2) I am HIGHLY allergic to horses.